How to find "the one" ❤️

Mar 13, 2023

When I first started dating after my husband's death, I didn't know what I was looking for! I mean let's be honest...I barely knew myself anymore!

My lack of clarity complicated the dating process and made it hard to trust myself when determining a potential match.

With great loss comes the loss of identity. So understanding who you are (now) and what you need & desire in your next partner is a deep process of self-discovery and understanding compatibility.

Once you define what matters to you, calling in a partner who is a match and weeding out those who aren’t becomes easier and this new found clarity brings a sense of confidence to the process.

Keep reading to see how you can use CLARITY to gain CONFIDENCE while dating!👇🏼

1. Understand YOUR Needs & Desires

Who you are NOW may be different from who you were when you met your deceased partner. Ask yourself ..

💗 What matters to me NOW?

💗 What are my core values?

💗 What type of a relationship am I looking for?

💗 What do I need and desire in this type of relationship?

*Deeper relationship compatibility is only important when you are ready for a long-term relationship / life partner / marriage

2. Consider these Facets of Lifestyle Compatibility

Assess these questions for yourself, first, then explore them with potential partners. Pay attention to the BOLDED value, so you can rank what’s most important to you.

How do you value your PHYSICAL WELLNESS -- exercise and nutrition?

How do you enjoy being INTELLECTUALLY stimulated?


How do you keep your LIVING SPACE?

Do you want a FAMILY? Pets? How important is family to you?

How often and to what extent do you have SEX? (with yourself or others!)

How satisfied are you with your CAREER? How do you value WORK/LIFE BALANCE?

What is your PURPOSE on this Earth? What puts a fire in your belly?

3. Pick 3-5 of these VALUES that are the MOST important to you

Then get out there and DATE to discover who is your match!

You likely won’t find someone who is compatible with every single point -- THAT'S OKAY! You are not meant to be exactly the same! Ask yourself… Can I build a life with this person?

Understanding compatibility creates clarity; and clarity creates confidence! ⚡️

Confidence helps you trust yourself in the discomfort of opening your heart to someone new and creates a sense of empowerment while dating, because it puts you in the position to choose someone who is aligned for you now!

Dating after death is a complex process. Having tools in your toolkit, a safe space to process, and coaches to guide you so that you can date with ease, clarity, and confidence makes the journey of finding the next love in your life fun and possible!

That’s why @thatmillenialtherpist and I combined our unique backgrounds in therapy, dating & relationship and widowhood & grief to create Love After Loss.

In this 8-week LIVE program we teach and integrate concepts such as compatibility, holding the duality of two loves in your heart, and releasing guilt or judgement from others, and so much more... as you go!

Whether you are curious about dating or already putting yourself out there, we create a safe space to navigate the nuances of dating as a widow…together!

If you desire clarity, confidence and deep connection to yourself and a community who understands while dating as a widow, I invite you to join us on March 16th for Love After Loss. Click the link below to learn more!

👇🏼 💖 JOIN HERE 💖

Sending love & light always,


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